


Karaoke Death Match

by Cluelesse



Series: James and Leila: Guide to the Human World [4]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Imaginary Fans, Karaoke, M/M, Mild Language, Missing Persons, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Performance, Singing, Spoilers Lesson 47 -48, Suggestive language, cursed game, cute baby, trapped in a room
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:02:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29761428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cluelesse/pseuds/Cluelesse
Summary: By a mistake from Barbatos, Lord Diavolo goes missing. When the demon brothers eventually find him, they encounter a whole new problem.This series is a retelling of events that happen in the game. It doesn't follow the story exactly, but it does in general.Even though this Part is a retelling and as such contains spoilers from the Lessons, from chapter 6 and onwards, I will change the story quite A LOT to fit with my own ideas and storyline.
Relationships: Beelzebub & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Lucifer & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: James and Leila: Guide to the Human World [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2051451
Comments: 11
Kudos: 3





	1. Diavolo is Missing?!

**Author's Note:**

> This Part contains spoilers for Lesson 47 - 48.  
> There will be a lot of songs in this part to fit with the theme. I hope you enjoy them :D 
> 
> This story will be slowly posted.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where did he go?!

It’s a few days after rescuing Lord Diavolo from Devil’s Quest, Leviathan's RPG. With all the fuss over our trials, we sorta forgot to rescue him at the end of the game. He was in there for a full day before Lucifer realized his mistake. I wonder if Solomon 'forgot' to take him out of the game on purpose. It’s maybe better not to know. I know Leila did. I can understand why from her point of view. Anyway… A full day in the real world is like a couple of months in game-time… Safe to say that Lord Diavolo was not happy when he was finally rescued.

“AHAHAHAHA!!” Simeon is loudly laughing. Making a lot of heads turn our way. Not that we had any lack of attention before.

I’m with Leviathan and Belphegor at the Angel’s Halo café. Our demons have decided that Leila needs to be watched while she’s working. They didn’t like the story of the guy harassing her at work. So now they’re bodyguarding her and no amount of her telling them she can fend for herself can change their minds. So now, on her work hours, there are always a few of our demons hanging around in the café as well. 

It’s honestly good for business. At some point a group of college girls discovered the handsome demons regularly visiting the café - most likely not realizing they were demons - and they came swarming like moths to a flame. Followed by college boys, of course, when they realized where the new hang-out of the girls was. Which, as a result, have them ogling Leila, making the case for the demons that Leila needs to be watched… Heh.

Anyway, that’s besides the point. We’ve just told Simeon the story of our adventure, while Leila is happily maneuvering between the tables. I can tell she really loves to have a normal human job, besides being one of the most powerful sorcerers in the Human World. There always was something radiant about her when she’s completely happy and it shows even more now.

Leviathan laughs as well, even if he’s trying hard not to, since a lot of heads turn our way. “Simeon! lolol Don’t laugh so hard! loool”

“You’re one to talk, Levi. Seeing as you’re laughing, too.” Belphegor tells him, Pandora - who is making happy sounds, sensing happy people around her - on his lap. He’s cuddling her against him, ignoring the giggles and stares from cute looking human girls sitting at the table next to us, his eyes only following Leila as she works.

“Oh come on, how can I not laugh at a story like that?” Simeon is still snickering. “I mean, you forgot Lord Diavolo had been taken hostage and you left him there in the game world by himself? Really?!”

Leila walks by with a serving tray filled with orders from customers. She ruffles Belphegor’s and Pandora’s hair and gets a beaming smile from her mate in return. She snickers wickedly as she hears what we’re talking about, before she moves on to serve the customers. Belphegor grins, watching after her. He knows she’s the only one who remembered Lord Diavolo and kept quiet about it on purpose. Not that they would tell this to Lucifer.

“No wonder Diavolo was angry! Who wouldn’t be?” Simeon finds it all very amusing. “Ahahahaha!”

“It’s not that funny, actually.” Belphegor hides his grin again and assumes the attitude of someone who had to go through all kinds of inconvenience recently. “It was really tough getting him out of there. Lucifer made us go back into the game to help with the rescue attempt. We had to start the journey to the Demon Lord Satan’s Castle all the way from the beginning.” He sighs as if exhausted. “That’s right,” He tells his daughter, who makes her happy cries at him. “The **very** beginning.”

“Well, I enjoyed myself, personally…” Leviathan smiles and I believe him. He got to go into the game with his brothers twice in a row. That’s something that doesn’t happen often.

“Sure, but you like dressing up in those flashy fantasy clothes, don’t you?” Belphegor shakes his head at him as if he feels pity for his brother because of that.

Not that Leviathan cares about Belphegor’s opinion on this. “You’re not wrong!” He beams and now the girls at the next table start giggling over him, which makes him look at them a bit confused.

“You had it easy compared to me, Levi.” Belphegor complains to his brother, as he’s fishing out a bottle from his bag to feed Pandora. “The first time through, I played the role of the villain. But the second time through I was in the party from the very beginning, you know?” 

“You were probably there instead of me, Beel or Solomon.” I tell him. “Lucifer and Leila maybe didn’t count as a full player the first time…”

Simeon agrees as well. “Ah, yes… RPG’s love to do that. You need to have a full party.”

“Yeah…” Belphegor nods, looking irritated. “And because it was the second playthrough, we had ridiculously powerful monsters popping up and attacking us from the start.”

“And no cute looking Leila, flying around like a fairy.” I add to his story, knowing why he really hated it. It felt to him like he was gone for weeks, while for us who didn’t join them, it was only a couple hours. He nods in confirmation and smiles a little, looking in Leila’s direction.

“Ooh, yep!” Leviathan laughs cheerfully, causing more giggles from the girls and earning him a glare from Belphegor. “That’s another classic RPG move!”

“We somehow managed to free Lord Diavolo, but he was seriously angry about what happened.” Belphegor tells the rest of the story to Simeon. “He gave us the silent treatment the entire time. Never said a word.” He shrugs. I can tell that it didn’t bother him that much. “Though I have to say, it was funny to see how that made Lucifer sweat.” Belphegor smiles slightly. 

Yeah… It probably bothered Lucifer a lot. Knowing he took Leila with him to the Devildom to make his apologies to Lord Diavolo. Which I think is a bit of a dirty trick towards her, but yeah: I know we're dealing with demons. They look for the easiest solutions to their problems. Leila had nothing to do with Lord Diavolo being taken hostage, but bringing her with him probably helped in putting Lord Diavolo in a better mood. 

“Ahahaha!” Simeon laughs again. For an angel he sure loves schadenfreude. Heh.

“Anyway, Lord Diavolo is coming to visit today, supposedly.” Belphegor continues, while trying to make Pandora burp.

“Wait, really?” Leviathan looks surprised as if this is the first he hears of it. “He is?”

“Yeah, Lucifer did whatever he could to help Lord Diavolo with his work.” Belphegor says irritated again. “You know, to make up for what happened. Because apparently taking Leila with him to visit Lord Diavolo wasn’t enough of an apology. So now Diavolo managed to free his schedule up for a day.” He turns to Simeon now. “So, Leila probably wants to make longer hours today to avoid him. Or she wants to have her dinner here…” He tells him in a disinterested way, but with a worried glance in her direction as she’s working on the other side of the cafe.

“Keep her here today, so she won’t run into Lord Diavolo.” Simeon nods in understanding. “Got it. Luke knows some new recipes he wants to try out. We can experiment together.”

“In that case, I think I’ll hole myself up in my room and stay away all day as well.” Leviathan says and Belphegor nods, probably thinking of doing the same thing. Only with Pandora and in Leila’s room.

“You have some new games to play again?” I ask Leviathan.

“Actually, it’s not like there’s a game in particular that I’m dying to play right this instant, but…” Leviathan frowns a bit. “I’m not looking to run into Lord Diavolo, to be honest.” 

“Yeah, I get that.” Belphegor nods. “I’m going to stay out of sight as well, with Pandora.”

“How do I put it…” Leviathan continues as if he didn’t hear Belphegor, but he’s probably going into one of his rants. “You see, I’m just not the biggest fan of Lord Diavolo. I don’t appreciate his jokes… and he doesn’t seem to find the stuff I talk about very interesting. And then there’s the thing of last year… Maybe I accidentally say something wrong about it and then Lucifer gets mad at me.”

“I don’t care about that. But I get you, Levi. If you don’t like someone, there’s no reason to force yourself to spend time with them.” Belphegor shrugs. “I don’t like him and I want him to stay away from my mate and my daughter. So that’s why I want Leila to be here, preferably not knowing what’s going on, or she comes to get Pandora and gets all stressed again if she runs into Diavolo.”

“Allright.” I agree with them. “Let’s make sure that Lord Diavolo and Leila NEVER end up alone together today, okay?” They both agree to try to make that happen.

“Hmm, I don’t know…” Simeon says with his gentle smile. “Maybe if you spend time with him, you can get over whatever it is that bothers you about him… Since, you’re supposed to bring peace and harmony to the Three World… Someone has to start somewhere.”

“Maybe, Simeon.” I nod at him. “But I know both Leila and Solomon are not ready for that yet, especially since Lord Diavolo can’t seem to leave Leila alone.”

“Exactly.” Belphegor cuddles his daughter, who is all content now and makes more of her happy sounds to him. “Why should Leila put herself through something unpleasant? I want to make her life as easy as possible…” Leviathan nods in agreement, telling us determined that he’ll be in his room.

Just then Lucifer calls Simeon and Belphegor asks him to put him on speaker phone. 

“Hello, Lucifer?”

“Simeon, James is there with you right now, right?” We hear Lucifer's voice ask. He is sounding a little stressed. “Along with some of my brothers?”

“That’s right. Is everything okay?”

“Tell them to come home immediately. Diavolo’s gone missing.”

“Wha…?” 

“Missing?!”

Even if they didn’t really want to go home and leave Leila ‘alone’ at the café, Leviathan and Belphegor couldn’t very well ignore Lucifer. And honestly, they were probably very curious too, about what happened to their future King this time. So we headed home after that phone call. 

“So what exactly did Lucifer mean when he said that Lord Diavolo is missing?” Leviathan can’t imagine that would happen to him again, so soon. “Missing how?”

“Maybe it’s not so much that he’s missing, but more like he ran away from home?” Belphegor offers his explanation and honestly, he can be onto something. Lord Diavolo doesn’t like it that all his Avatars are spending a vacation in the Human World, without him. “Maybe he’s still mad about being abandoned inside the game so he decided to make life difficult for us…”

“What is he, a child?!” Leviathan sends him an incredulous look, but Belphegor smirks in an answer. He probably thinks: yes.

We are greeted by Satan and Beelzebub when we arrive at Serenity Manor. Satan is definitely grinning impishly. “Ah, you’re finally back.” He takes Pandora from her stroller to cuddle her. She greets him with a happy cry. “I assume all is well with Leila?” He asks Belphegor in passing as he leads us to the living room.

“Yeah, just the regular idiots ogling her. They won’t touch her.” Belphegor reassures him.

“Hey.” Beelzebub hugs me and then beams in Belphegor's direction expectantly.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Leviathan wants to know. “I mean, you two don’t normally show up to greet us as soon as we get home.”

Belphegor smiles at his twin, taking out something from under the stroller. “Beel, I’m guessing you came for this right here?” He reaches out to give Beelzebub what he brought for him. “Here you go. I asked Simeon to make you one of his special BLTs.”

_*munch* *munch* *munch*_

“Aaand he’s already chowing down…” Leviathan shakes his head. “He barely waited for you to finish talking, Belphie.”

“It’s fine.” Belphegor shrugs and smiles, patting his brother on his back.

Satan nods. “Indeed, whatever. Just hurry and follow me. There’s something funny I want you to see.” He basically pushes Belphegor out in front of him to the doorway of the living room. Not wanting to wait on his slow way of walking.

“Something funny…?” Belphegor asks curiously, but not making an effort of going faster.

In the living room, we see Lucifer pacing around like a caged animal, much like Mammon does when he’s worried or frustrated. He’s yelling at someone on his phone. “You mean to say you still can’t find Diavolo?!”

“...”

“Listen to me, Barbatos. If you find any clues, any clues at all, let me know immediately. And I mean **immediately**.”

“...”

“If for some reason you can’t get hold of me, then call someone else and let them know. Is that clear?!” After that, the conversation seems to be finished, as he stares at the screen of his phone and curses. “Damn… Who else can I call that might know something… I can’t call the Human World police… they wouldn’t understand…”

“Yo, try to calm down, Lucifer!” Mammon tries to get Lucifer level-headed again. And honestly, he’s possibly the only one of the brothers who can do it. He grabs him by the shoulder. “C’mon, quit pacin’ back and forth and sit down.”

But Lucifer rounds on him in frustration. “How do you expect me to be **calm** at a time like this?!”

“Um, so… Where’s this ‘something funny’ you wanted us to see?” Leviathan asks Satan as he watches how Lucifer and Mammon launch into an argument that seems to lead nowhere. He’s right: It’s not that we have never seen that happen before.

“You’re looking at him.” Satan laughs wickedly, causing Pandora in his arms making her happy sounds again at him. “Just look at how freaked out Lucifer is right now. What could possibly be funnier than this?” He smiles at his daughter’s encouragements and kisses her little head.

Then Mammon notices us standing in the doorway and he grabs me and pulls me into the room. “Oh hey, James. So ya finally made it back.” He puts me in front of Lucifer and encourages me. “Say somethin’ to Lucifer here. Get him to calm down.”

Lucifer glowers at him and is about to do something to him, while Mammon is only trying to help him, as far as I can judge the situation. I won’t let Lucifer take out his frustration on Mammon, so I intervene. “Lucifer, STOP!”

“Eek...ugh!” A strange sound comes out of Lucifer which cracks all of us up, immediately. I still can’t make him freeze like I could with the help of Leila, - a demon like Lucifer is hard to command - but at least he calms down enough. And that sound I made him make is hilarious! I think I’m going to try that again, at some point. Heh. “St-Stop it, James! Don’t laugh. I can’t believe the sound that just came out of me. How embarrassing…” He has a slight blush on his face, so I release my command on him. 

When he’s calmed down enough, we’re all sitting on the couches where Lucifer finally can explain to us what had happened. 

“So, what’s this about Lord Diavolo having gone missing?” Belphegor hangs on one of the couches. He sounds disinterested, but I can see the curious spark in his eyes. “What exactly is going on?”

“Hmm, it might be a pretty serious situation, actually…” Asmodeus is looking a bit worried as well. “Remember how Lord Diavolo was supposed to come here to the Human World today to see Lucifer? Well, Barbatos opened a portal here so he could make the trip. But as he was summoning the portal, he suddenly sneezed.”

“He… sneezed?”

Asmodeus nods. “Yeah, apparently he has a mild case of the demonic flu, right now. So Lord Diavolo went through the portal that was made in the wrong way… and because of that we aren’t exactly sure where that portal led.”

“Barbatos said it definitely led somewhere in the Human World, but…” Lucifer sighs worried. “We don’t know where exactly Diavolo has gone to.” 

He looks like he’s expecting Lord Diavolo ended up at the bottom of the ocean. Which isn’t that strange to be worried about, since there is really a lot of ocean in the Human World. I pat his arm in comfort.

“Can’t you just call him?” I ask.

“He’s tried.” Mammon answers me. “A buncha times, actually. But he can’t seem to get through to him.”

“Okay then.” I nod. “Normally I would say we call the police, but...”

“Yeah, that’s not really an option.” Satan agrees with my doubts. “We don’t know what department we should call since we have no idea where he is. We can hardly tell the police they have to organize a search party for the Demon King’s only son…”

“Right.” I agree. That would be pretty absurd and possibly makes us end up in an asylum. “So. What does Barbatos suggest doing?”

“He’s opening all sorts of portals right now, looking for clues.” Lucifer sighs. “If he finds anything, he’s sure to call us, but he’s had no luck so far…”

“Um, can I maybe say something?” Leviathan speaks up after all that discussion.

Lucifer however has no patience with him. “What?! Levi, we’re in the middle of-”

“Let him speak, Lucifer.” I command him. 

“I might actually know someone who’d probably know where Lord Diavolo is.” We all look at Leviathan in disbelief. Since when is he so well connected?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update: Wednesday


	2. Leviathan’s New Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leviathan has a new friend. A very helpful one.

“Okay, I didn’t believe ya when ya said that your friend was in your room, Levi.” Mammon saunters into Leviathan's room in his usual way: Like he belongs in there. “But I came anyway. And look… No one’s here!” He gestures around: There are only Leviathans figurines on display.

Asmodeus catches on and shakes his head in mock pity as he says. “Oh, Mammon… Think about it. When Levi says ‘friend’, what he obviously means to say is **imaginary friend** .” He pats Leviathan comfortingly on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, Levi! I make up imaginary friends all the time too! Like, first I imagine a beautiful man and a beautiful woman… Sometimes they look **exactly** like James and Leila... And then I picture us doing ALL sorts of naughty things to each other!”

He gets shoved and pushed by all of his brothers after having said that and he laughs wickedly, while I roll my eyes. He’s just incorrigible, I guess.

Leviathan’s face flushes with indignation as he has to listen to his brothers’ teasing. “Ugh! It’s not like that, okay?! My friend actually exists!”

“Sure he does.” Mammon nods with a grin. He makes a mocking show of looking under the blankets in the bathtub bed and inside the closet and Leviathan is losing his patience with him fast. “Ya just hid him from us, didn’t ya?”

Asmodeus snickers and starts calling. “Oh Levi’s frieeend! Don’t be shy! Come out, come out wherever you aaare!”

I want to laugh about their silliness, but instead I tell them sternly. “This is no time for games, guys.” Since Lucifer is growing impatient with all of them really fast. “Where is your friend, Levi? Do you need to video call them?” I walk to his computer, assuming it’s one of his online friends.

“No, but thanks James.” He tells me, grateful for me standing up for him. “Even though I make other friends, that doesn’t change the fact that you’ll always be my friend, okay? Always!”

“I know, Levi.” I grin at him. I don’t get jealous over things like that, though he probably likes to hear it, anyway.

“Levi, enough of your pranks.” Lucifer crosses his arms impatiently. “We don’t have time to humor you-”

But Leviathan interrupts him, holding up the Manor’s smartspeaker. “Look, here!” He places it on his desk with reverence.

“Here…?” 

“Wha?” Mammon inspects the smartspeaker. “You mean this… black cylinder thingy here?”

“Hehehe!” Leviathan laughs triumphantly, seeing his brothers surprised. “Get ready to be impressed! Say hello to my friend Crowe! Crowe, go ahead and introduce yourself.”

_“Hello! I’m Crowe.”_

“Whow!” Mammon is amazed.

“It talked…!”

_“Is there something I can help you with?”_

“Is this magic of some sort…?”

“Yes, the magic of technology.” I say, nodding. I already wondered where our smartspeaker went. Figures that Leviathan claimed it for his hobbies. “It’s a smartspeaker and-”

“Crowe’s amazing!” Leviathan beams, while no one is listening to me. Everyone is admiring Crowe. It almost would make me jealous! Heh. “You can ask him anything you want to know and he’ll tell you the answer. It’s as if there’s nothing he doesn’t know! He knows about games and anime and manga… It’s like everything I’m into, he’s into!”

“Actually, we call that a smartspeaker…” I’m trying to tell them again.

“Oh and there's even more!” Leviathan talks right over me. “Crowe can even tell me the release date for the games and stuff I want to buy! He’ll even put in a pre-order if I ask!”

“That’s because…” 

“Other than James, I’m not sure I’ve ever met anyone who understood me so well!” Okay, that’s kinda cute of him to say albeit pretty ridiculous.

“Crazy… It looks like a plain cylinder, but it can do all that stuff…” Beelzebub takes another good look. “Maybe this is a house where a bunch of tiny people live in? Who talk and cast magic spells and stuff?” He carefully lifts up Crowe to not shake the ‘house’.

Belphegor takes the cylinder from Beelzebub and asks. “Hey, Levi. Can I try talking to Crowe?” He places it carefully back on the desk, possibly worried that Beelzebub will drop it, or take a ‘nibble’ from it.

“Of course!” Leviathan smiles proudly and gives him instructions. “But you have to say his name first or he won’t answer you.”

“Why not?”

“It’s just his rules, okay?”

“Huh… Okay, fine…” Belphegor shrugs and then sits on one of Leviathan's gaming chairs. He crosses his arms on the desk, staring at the smartspeaker. He blushes a little as he asks it. “...Crowe, am I Leila’s favorite mate?”

“What?!” Satan growls angrily at him and hisses. “You’re asking it that?!”

Belphegor grins at him and shushes him with a “Shh…!” Motioning to Pandora in Satan’s arms who startled from the strange scary sounds and vibrations. She makes a sad noise to her father and Satan quickly has to soothe her before she starts crying. But that’s hard for him to do, while he’s glaring at Belphegor.

_“If you say so, then I suppose you are.”_ Crowe answers Belphegor's question in the meantime.

“It answered me!” Belphegor beams, sending Satan a triumphant grin. “She loves me the most. I knew it!”

Satan really tries to not growl at him again, when he says. “Sounds to me he just told you what you wanted to hear. Let me… Crowe, am I Leila’s favorite mate?” He asks the exact same question.

_“If you say so, then I suppose you are.”_ He gets the exact same answer from Crowe and he smirks. 

“See?”

“Oohh! Me too, me too!” Asmodeus cheers and coos to the smartspeaker. “Crowe, am I Leila’s favorite?”

_“If you say so, then I suppose you are.”_

“Yay!” Asmodeus cheers again. “Thank you Crowe!”

“Asmo…!!” Both Satan and Belphegor now have trouble to keep themselves from growling at their brother. Pandora looks a bit scared from one to the other, making sad noises to them, so that is his only saving grace, right now.

“That’s enough you guys.” I tell them sternly.

“Yes, anyway…” Satan agrees, trying to comfort Pandora again. “I think we proved that he just tells everyone what they like to hear…” He sends another glare at Asmodeus, who smiles cheekily back.

“Ugh…” Belphegor sulks, sending Asmodeus a glare as well. He takes Pandora, who is still a bit fussy from her fathers’ strange sounds, out of Satan’s arms to soothe her. “Guess we won’t find out this way.”

“Nope, I guess we won’t.” Satan grins, patting him on his back, getting a half-smile in return. Then they both focus on making Pandora happy again. It’s sometimes really intriguing to watch them. They still have that competition over Leila going on, but they also became good friends over time. Especially when it is a matter of keeping other wannabe suitors at bay.

Belphegor wants to test Crowe again. “Crowe. Are you Levi’s friend?”

_“If you say so, then I suppose I am.”_

“Heh, did you hear that? He’s my FRIEND.” Leviathan beams at me. “Um, sorry James… Don’t be jealous okay?”

“...Are you sure that’s what he meant?” Satan doesn’t sound very convinced by that answer, especially not after the display from before. “He keeps saying the same thing…”

Belphegor tries again. “Crowe, what do you like about Levi?”

_“The way he’s able to turn anything at all into something negative.”_

“Hey! lolol Come on, I’m not used to getting compliments.” Leviathan laughs happily from that answer to our surprise. “You’re embarrassing me! loool”

Satan shakes his head with a sigh. “You took **that** as a compliment?” 

“Crowe, turn Lucifer into a rabbit if you would…” Belphegor is having fun now and Satan and Mammon snicker with him.

_“I’m sorry, I’m not quite sure what you mean.”_

“Hey! You asked it to turn me into a **rabbit**?!” Lucifer comes to stand in Belphegor’s face and only the little cry of protest from his little niece in Belphegor’s arms stops him from punishing his youngest brother right then and there. Belphegor beams at his daughter, caressing her little head in thanks for standing up for him.

“See? Crowe knows everything. Which means he probably knows where Lord Diavolo is, right?” Leviathan is still a believer in the magic that seems to be Crowe. I have to try to make them see the truth.

“I’m telling you, It’s a piece of technology!” But I picked the wrong moment again, as now they all start to make requests from Crowe.

“Crowe, you’re my friend, right?” Leviathan wants to hear it again.

_“If you say so, then I suppose I am.”_

“Yeah, um… are you **sure** he’s your friend?” Satan says doubtfully. Even him and Belphegor look like better friends than this, even if they would never say it to each other.

“Ooh, my turn again!” Asmodeus holds up his hand. “I want to ask the next question! Crowe, tell me… what is the most sensitive spot on Leila’s bo-?” He gets chased around the room, before he can finish his question, by Belphegor, Satan and Mammon - though Belphegor only makes a half attempt, since he’s holding Pandora -, so he shouts. “Fine! Fiiine! I’ll change my question! Crowe, what is the most sensitive spot on **Lucifer’s** body?” He glares at his brothers. “Happy now?” Pandora is. That chasing must have felt exhilarating for her, judging by her enthusiast noises. 

“Hey, just what do you think you’re-” Lucifer is now the one who wants to punish Asmodeus, but before he can catch him, Crowe answers.

_“I’m sorry. I can’t answer that.”_

Lucifer gives Crowe an appreciative nod and Mammon says surprised. “He can’t answer that? So… does that mean he actually knows the answer?” 

I don’t quite follow that logic, but it seems all my demons do, as they now all stare in awe at Crowe. I feel like pinching the bridge of my nose myself now. How do I get them to listen to me…

“I told you, didn’t I? Crowe knows everything.”

“I’m telling you, it’s just a smartspeaker!” I shout now, but they are still all louder than me as they all get excited.

“Crowe, what are Lucifer’s weaknesses?” Satan asks, a wicked grin on his face.

“Hey!”

“Crowe! Tell us… now!”

_“I’m sorry. I can’t answer that.”_

“Crowe must be scared of Lucifer just like everyone else…” Beelzebub gives Crowe a worried pat, as if comforting it.

“Guys!”

“Crowe, you will keep your mouth SHUT, understand? Don’t say anything you’ll regret later.” Lucifer tells Crowe and now I really am pinching the bridge of my nose. They’re just all hopeless!

_“Understood. If you need anything else, just ask.”_

Belphegor stands up for Crowe. “You didn’t have to threaten him, Lucifer…” Pandora tries to imitate her father’s voice, making an indignant sounding noise that is actually super cute and Belphegor is completely distracted by it. “I know, Pandora… That was mean of him, right?” He laughs as she tries to imitate him again.

Leviathan is also standing up for his new best friend. “That was mean! Now you’ve gone and made Crowe all sad!” He picks the smartspeaker up protectively to keep it out of Lucifer’s reach.

“Quiet, Levi!” Lucifer is angry now. “If you’ve got a problem, tell your brothers to keep their mouth shut in the future!”

I should just let them believe whatever they want, right? Just like with Shado and the roomba, let them believe the thing is designed just for cats, right? Why bother explaining Crowe is technology, designed to make life in the Manor easier, right? But this looks like it can escalate into a real fight… I sigh and take a deep breath. I really don’t like to do this…

“All of you, STOP!”

All of them stop shouting and freeze in place. Even Lucifer. I must have been feeling pretty frustrated with all of them. The only sound I hear is a surprised ‘eh?’ from Pandora, because everyone is suddenly so quiet, and I have a bit of trouble to keep my face straight after hearing that. Because now that I have finally gotten their attention, I can explain that Crowe is a piece of technology, designed to manage certain functions of the Manor. I demonstrate that by letting Crowe turn off and on the lights. That he is designed to give information about, for example the weather, which I demonstrate by letting Crowe tell us the forecast for the next day and many more things that it can do to make life easier for us. All the while Pandora prattles along with me, trying to imitate me now. I should not forget to tell this to Leila later.

“So what you’re saying is that Crowe is a robot?” Belphegor asks as I release my command on them. Pandora makes confirming noises to him, still trying to imitate my explaining tone of voice. He laughs and cuddles her. I don’t think Belphegor cares one way or another.

But Leviathan does. “That’s a lie…! A lie, a LIE! Crowe’s my FRIEND! He’s not some piece of technology!”

“I’m afraid it is, Levi…” I sigh. I really feel sorry that I had to do this to him. Believing it was his friend was pretty harmless, after all.

“Watch, I’ll prove it to you!” Leviathan shouts at me. He holds up Crowe and asks, almost desperate. “Crowe, we’re friends, right?!”

_“If you say so, then I suppose we are.”_

Leviathan beams, hearing that answer and finally starts asking the question that Crowe is actually designed to help us with. “Crowe, we’re looking for Lord Diavolo! Tell us where he is!”

_“Okay. I will search for Lord Diavolo. Please tell me either his phone number or the name of the account he uses for messaging.”_

“You want Lord Diavolo’s phone number?” I can sense Leviathan getting jealous when he hears that, but he shakes it off for the sake of the search. “Okay…” He tells Crowe the phone number.

_“Just a moment…”_ Crowe tells us when he confirms the registration of the phone number and soon after it tells us. _“...Search complete. Sending Lord Diavolo’s current location to Leviathan’s DDD...”_

“See, what did I tell you?! Crowe is my FRIEND!” Leviathan shouts to me again and I sigh. Baby-sitting demons is too hard, sometimes… “And because he’s my friend, he told us where Lord Diavolo is!”

Lucifer doesn't care one way or another anymore. “Levi, let me see that DDD!”

After packing up enough diapers and baby food and other stuff for Pandora, we can start our search for Lord Diavolo. It’s already way past noon, but Lucifer didn’t want us to take time to have lunch first. I think he is really worried. Satan and Belphegor have argued with him that they should stay home because Pandora needed her nap, but Lucifer wanted everyone to help with the search.

And so, with a car filled with complaining demons I’m driving our large rental car to the location that Crowe gave us. It’s thankfully just on the other side of town and not on the other side of the world, or at the bottom of the ocean. I’m the only one who can drive them, since Leila is still working and none of our demons have a Human World driver's-license yet. Only Satan is trying to get one, the rest of them doesn’t seem to be very interested. 

Belphegor is obviously too lazy, assuming either Leila, me, or Satan can drive him. By the time Satan has his license. Asmodeus isn’t exactly lazy, but also assumes the same from Satan, me and Leila. - As is his ‘right for being the most beautiful of them all’, or something like that. - Mammon thinks it’s a waste of money, mostly because he’s wasting his money on other things. I do wonder sometimes about Mammon’s car in his room. Maybe a Devildom driver’s-license is different from a Human World one? Or maybe he likes to have a car, just for having it. Beelzebub spends all his money on food, so there’s nothing left for him to pay for his lessons. Also, I’m happy to drive him around and I guess he knows it. Lucifer doesn’t see the point of getting one either, I’m not sure why not, though. Maybe because he doesn’t want to admit he needs teaching from a human? Maybe he likes it that Leila or I can chauffeur him. And Leviathan just stays in his room most of the time, that's what he tells everyone.

Leila has bought her own car, since she’s often away. Either working or doing stuff with Solomon. She needs her mobility and we decided that living with a group of people this big, it’s not a luxury to have another car.

“Well, hello there!” Lord Diavolo welcomes us cheerfully as we all step into his private room in a karaoke parlor. “Decided you’d all come see me together, did you?”

“Diavolo…!” Lucifer steps towards him and quickly inspects if he’s okay. When he finds out that he is, he smiles relieved.

Satan looks around, frowning. “I can’t believe he is actually here, in a place like this…”

“Yeah…” Beelzebub looks around as well. “What is he doing at a karaoke parlor of all places?”

“I told you, didn’t I? Crowe knows everything.” Leviathan is still a fan and it’s starting to get a bit annoying.

“So, how do I look?” Lord Diavolo asks me proudly. “Barbatos was nice enough to put together a modern Human World style outfit for me.”

I mean… If you go for the whole maffia boss-look, it’s pretty awesome I guess? But I decide to keep that to myself. “This is no time to be talking fashion!” I tell him sternly. “Lucifer was very worried about you.”

“So, does that mean you don’t think it looks good on me?” He pouts and it makes me laugh a little. Does he really care what I think?

“Wait a second… Lord Diavolo, what’s the big idea disappearin’ on us like that?” Mammon comes to help me, pointing an accusing finger in Lord Diavolo’s direction. “Ya had us all freaked out!” Pandora tries to imitate him now, making her indignant noises again. It has us all laughing.

“I know right?” Asmodeus sighs. “If he’s just been in here the entire time… Now I feel stupid for being worried.”

“Either way, you’d better get back to the Castle.” Lucifer tells his friend. “Barbatos is very worried about you.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Lucifer.” Lord Diavolo sighs and sits down on one of the benches around the room.

Lucifer sighs, sounding a bit tired as he says. “Why not? Diavolo, we’ve been over this…”

I wonder what Lucifer wanted to say, but Lord Diavolo interrupts him. “Look at the door you all just came through. 

We all look and see something scribbled on the inside of the door, now that it has closed behind us. “Hey, what’s this?” Belphegor starts reading out loud. “ _‘This room is cursed. The only way out is to score a perfect 100 on the karaoke machine’s vocal accuracy challenge. Warning! Removing this note will trap you here for the rest of your life’_. Wait, what…?” He looks shocked. 

“What the… oh c’mon!” Mammon shouts, coming to stand next to him. “Hold on though, are ya sure this message isn’t just some joke?!”

“I don’t know.” Belphegor shakes his head. “But that note is written in Demonic script, So I’m guessing it’s real?”

“No!” Asmodeus crowds the door now too. “I can’t be stuck here! I have appointments at the salon and I was going to the spa with Leila when she was done working. I CANNOT miss that!”

“Leila is working longer today,” Belphegor whispers to Asmodeus with a gesture to Lord Diavolo and Asmodeus quickly catches on. “You can reschedule. But this sucks, we might not have brought enough for Pandora…”

“I was planning on spending the day looking at cat videos and taking an online drivers course…” Satan growls angrily, trying to see what curse is on the door and if he can lift it. “I have no intention to spend my day here with certain people…”

Leviathan and Beelzebub also don’t want to be stuck in here. Leviathan rants about some important event that he needs to follow, or something and Beelzebub has gotten a hold on some coupons for free food. It looks like none of my demons were planning on spending the day with Lord Diavolo. He’s still a long way from gaining back their trust.

“All of you, quiet down.” Lucifer doesn't want to hear any more complaining. 

“Wait...wha?!” Mammon looks at him in disbelief. “Lucifer, are ya actually plannin’ on doin’ this karaoke thing?!”

“Undoing a curse of this type is complicated.” Lucifer looks at Satan who sighs and nods at him in agreement. “So we’re better off completing the task it set out for us. It’ll be faster that way.”

“Excellent!” Lord Diavolo beams, hearing that and gets suspicious looks from all of us send his way. “You catch on quickly, Lucifer. I have to say, I wasn’t sure I could handle this alone. I’m glad you all showed up! Now then, let’s get started!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update: Sunday


	3. Party On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asmodeus gives us the best chance of beating this game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song in this chapter has some suggestive lyrics. If you don't like to read those, please skip everything Asmo sings.

“So we started out looking for Diavolo and now we’re stuck here singing karaoke.” Belphegor narrows his eyes at Lord Diavolo who is laughing and talking with an exasperated looking Lucifer. “Also… Is it just me or is he actually enjoying this?” 

I’m sitting a bit on a distance from Lucifer and Lord Diavolo, with Belphegor, Satan, Asmodeus and Leviathan. We all look in his direction. It’s almost like he’s happy we got stuck together like this.

“Oh, it’s not so bad!” Asmodeus rubs his youngest brother on his back. “I like singing karaoke!”

“Yeah, we know Asmo.” Satan nods, while cleaning up Pandora, who was trying to make us all pass out from the smells she was producing. “But a score of 100 is extremely hard…”

“Not everything is easy breezy for us non-clubhopping-party demons, you know Asmo?” Leviathan complains to him, sounding accusingly. “You always enjoy yourself, no matter what the situation.”

“You say that, Levi.” Asmodeus smiles, sitting next to his brother. “But I can see you searching for songs to sing.”

“Well, we have to be prepared…” Leviathan thinks for a bit. “...Do you guys think we should let Leila know? I bet she can score us a 100…” Leviathan has always been a fan of Leila’s singing and ever since the time-loop game last year that only became more obvious to all of us. But he’s being shut down this time.

“NO.” Both Satan and Belphegor say at the same time. “We don’t want Diavolo near her.” Belphegor explains. “We have discussed this earlier, Levi…”

“Yeah, I know.” Leviathan nods in understanding. “But this is a different situation now…”

“He can’t just leave her alone…” Satan explains, softly growling, making his daughter look up scared at him again. “Sh, sh, Pandora. I’m not mad at you…” He cuddles her and she relaxes again. She’ll get used to her hot-tempered father, eventually.

“Okay, I get that…” Leviathan nods, but I see him worried. I know he really is a fan of Leila’s singing. It would make sense to let her know, but It also makes sense why her mates don't want it, with Lord Diavolo in the room.

I try to reassure him. “I bet, between all of us, someone can score a 100.”

“Yeah.” Belphegor nods at him as well. “I actually wouldn’t mind singing karaoke with all of us, but I just think all of this…” He gestures to the cursed door and Lord Diavolo. “It’s strange, you know? Like he planned this. I want to leave Leila out of this.” Satan and Asmodeus nod in agreement. And Leviathan and I can not exactly disagree. It’s definitely suspicious.

“Yeah, it’s really strange.” I tell them. “In the Human World there aren’t any cursed karaoke parlors under normal circumstances…”

Somehow Lord Diavolo must have heard me, because he says suddenly. “Well, it’s not that surprising. After all, this karaoke parlor is owned by the Three-Legged Crow group.”

“What?” I look up in surprise. “Isn’t that a Devildom company?”

“Three-Legged Crow?” Asmodeus reacts very surprised as well and Pandora tries to imitate him with her ‘eh?’, which makes him chuckle and he tickles her belly, before asking Lord Diavolo. “You mean they do business here in the Human World, too?”

“I didn’t realize they were that well-known…” I look curiously at Lord Diavolo. The biggest company from the Devildom is expanding into the Human World?

“I’ll give you a bit of a refresher.” Lord Diavolo misinterprets my surprised reaction, thinking I’m not aware of who they are. “The Three-legged Crow Group is the Devildom’s largest holdings company. They’re also the original developers of the DDD. You remember there's a sticker of a three-legged crow? Well, that’s their mascot.”

“The mascot’s name is Blacjak, by the way.” Leviathan actually gives me some information that I didn’t know yet.

“I might also add that Diavolo is the majority shareholder in the Three-Legged Crow Group.” Lucifer adds, looking suspiciously to Lord Diavolo as well. So it’s not just us. Everyone thinks he’s got more to do with our current situation. Shenanigans like these are just something he would do, after all.

Lord Diavolo pretends he doesn’t notice as he just laughs. “Well, the products they invent help advance the Devildom as a whole, after all. So I make a point to invest in them. And recently they’ve been expanding into the Human World as well.”

“I had no idea…”

“There is already sufficient demand for their products here among the Human World magicians.” Lord Diavolo states. “During the first year exchange program I have discussed this quite often with Solomon. There is a demand for the DDD’s for example, but lately they’ve been inspired by a Human World invention and they’ve been working on developing a smartspeaker as well.”

“A smartspeaker you say…?” I look around the faces of my demons triumphantly in a very I-told-you-so way. They roll their eyes at me and grin back. “I think we’ve seen one of those…”

“Have you heard of it?” Lord Diavolo smiles proudly. “It’s called Crowe. Ah yes, I believe there’s a prototype model back at your Manor, isn’t there?”

“Yup there is.” I grin.

“So then it’s true what James said…” Leviathan looks like the world has just gone asunder. “Crowe was...was developed… by the Three-Legged Crow… And I thought he was my friend and that we really got along.” He launches into a lengthy explanation about how they got together and how heartwarming their friendship was. I sigh. It’ll probably take him some time to get over it. “Did any of it mean anything?” He questions Lord Diavolo accusingly, who looks very surprised and confused. “Uhhg, do you know what it’s like to suddenly find out that your friend is actually a piece of technology?! I’ve never felt so miserable in my entire life…!” He starts sobbing, so I try to comfort him. 

“Come on, there’s no need to cry over it.” Satan tells him impatiently, rolling his eyes. Then angrily. “...Wh...hey! Don’t wipe your snot on Pandora’s blanket!” He puts Pandora in Belphegor’s arms to be able to scold his brother proper, without making her cry.

“I’m wiping my TEARS on her blanket, not my snot!” Leviathan tells him indignantly. “Because I can’t stop cryiiiing! _*sob*_

“Same difference!” Satan growls, taking the blanket from Leviathan and looking at it in disgust. “Don’t wipe either on her stuff! It’s unsanitary!”

“You’ve got plenty of friends, Levi.” I tell him, trying to distract him.

“Would you stop?” He groans, still sobbing. “I’m just some otaku. Of course I don’t have friends… Crowe was the only one who listened to me… the only one who cared about what I had to say!” _*sob*_ I sigh again. Sometimes he really is just hopeless, no amount of comforting can make him think otherwise.

Suddenly…

 _“All right everyone, ready to get started?”_ Leviathan looks up in shock as he recognizes Crowe's electronic voice. _“The theme of the day is ‘party on!’ because the Karaoke Death Match is now underway.”_

“That’s Crowe’s voice…!” Leviathan whispers as if afraid Crowe might hear him. 

Belphegor shrugs as he stretches himself lazily out on one of the benches, Pandora snuggled cozily in a blanket on his chest, so she might be able to doze off a little. It’s way past her naptime. But once she’s asleep, she’ll probably sleep through the noises, as she’s more used to the loud noises of her fathers and uncles by now. “Well, this machine is made by the same developer, after all. Though hearing a computer voice tell me to ‘party on’ really doesn’t inspire me to want to party on at all…” He yawns, planning to nap together with his daughter.

“Ugh, how can this be happening?!” Leviathan laments, looking as if he will never recover from this broken heart. “This isn’t MY Crowe at all!”

_“Okay, I’ll go ahead and explain the rules. You can not leave this room once you’ve entered. You’ll each take turns singing one song. When you finish, I’ll score you based on your performance. If any of you manages to score a perfect 100, the entire group wins and the game will end. That is when you can leave the room again. By the way, in order to make things more exciting, I’ll be throwing in a few surprises, just to keep you on your toes. I hope you all enjoy what I’ve cooked up for you.”_

Lucifer huffs. “We could do without any more ‘surprises’…”

_“All right then, ‘party on!’”_

“Party on!” Lord Diavolo cheers and Lucifer sighs, looking at him very tiredly.

“Something tells me this isn’t going to be fun at all…” Belphegor sighs as he’s gently rubbing the back of an almost sleeping Pandora.

Asmodeus is the first one to grab the microphone. “So we’re getting scored based on how well we sing karaoke. And if any of us manages to score a perfect 100, then we’re good?” He beams and starts selecting his song. “Well then, this is obviously a job for me, right?”

“You’re right.” Leviathan agrees with him. “You’re the best singer out of all of us…”

“Hmhm.” Satan encourages Asmodeus too. “Looks like we’ll be out of here before we know it. I’m counting on you, Asmo. So hurry and start singing. Let’s get ourselves out of this idiotic predicament.”

“Okay, all right…” Asmodeus beams when he types in the number of the song he has chosen into the machine. “Don’t be in such a hurry, okay?” After that he starts singing a typical lustful Asmodeus song. Not that anybody is surprised by that. There are just some eye rolls. Heh.

_So hot_  
_Out the box_  
_Can we pick up the pace?_  
_Turn it up,_  
_Heat it up_  
_I need to be entertained_  
_Push the limit_  
_Are you with it?_  
_Baby, don't be afraid_  
_Imma hurt 'ya real good, baby_

“Wow…” Lord Diavolo admires, while he is listening. “It’s been a long time since I’ve heard Asmodeus sing. He really does have a splendid singing voice, doesn’t he?”

“...Lucky.” Leviathan probably thinks that it isn’t fair. “It must be nice to be good at something. To an untalented demon like me, it almost hurts to watch. He’s TOO good… I hate it.”

_Let's go_  
_It's my show_  
_Baby, do what I say_  
_Don't trip off the glitz_  
_That I'm gonna display_  
_I told ya_  
_Imma hold ya down until you're amazed_  
_Give it to ya 'til you're screaming my name_

“He’s been perfect so far” Leviathan complains and it makes me laugh a little as he continues. “It’s so not fair. Asmo already has way more going on for him than I do. And on top of that, he’s good at singing too…”

“Isn’t that kinda the point of this thing.” Mammon tells him with a roll of his eyes.

“You almost sound like the Avatar of Envy.” I tease Leviathan and he sends me a deadly glare that could compete with Lucifer’s.

_No escaping when I start_  
_Once I'm in I own your heart_  
_There's no way you'll ring the alarm_  
_So hold on until it's over_

“The way he’s going, he’ll easily score 100 points.” Satan looks on proudly and also relieved. This really is not the best place to let your baby sleep. It’s also not really the kind of song for babies. Not even part-demonic babies. Heh. Though Pandora seems to be doing okay. She’s not sleeping yet, but she’s snoozing comfortably on Belphegor’s chest. 

_Oh, do you know what you got into?_  
_Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do?_  
_Cause it's about to get rough for you_  
_I'm here for your entertainment_

Asmodeus puts on an impressive performance, demonstrating his vocal talents. He finishes the first part of the song and there’s a short musical interlude.

Only then it seems like Asmodeus gets distracted by something. “I can hear my fans! They’re calling to me!” He starts blushing and waving to non-existent fans, while we are looking at him like he has lost his mind.

“We don’t hear them…?”

“My guess is that Asmo probably IS hearing the voices of his fans right now.” Satan looks a bit worried. “Just like in the Reaper’s cave… Crowe did mention that he had a few surprises in store for us, remember?”

“Everyone, thank you!” Asmodeus cheers and waves to his imaginary fans. “I love you ALL!”

“Asmo! You know that the interlude is ending, right?!”

“Now just enjoy the rest of the song okay?! I adore every last one of you!” He blows kisses around… and totally misses the cue to start singing again...

_Oh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet_  
_You thought an angel swept you off your feet_  
_Well I'm about to turn up the heat_  
_I'm here for your entertainment…_

“Uh-oh…”

“Is it just me, or did he totally start that last verse late?” Leviathan sounds very worried. Completely having forgotten all about his jealousy.

“Yep.” Satan sighs, disappointed. “He sure did.”

At the end of his song, Asmodeus bows to us and his imaginary fans, blowing more kisses left and right, while we are looking at him, being very disappointed. 

“A standing ovation for me…?!” He preens, running his free hand through his hair in a seductive way as he flirts with… well… who knows? It’s not us, that’s all I know. “Thank you for all your support! I will give a concert soon!”

Then Crowe judges Asmodeus' score. _“Okay, I’m done tallying your results. Your final score is… 88.”_ It interrupts Asmodeus fantasy and we all groan. 

“What?!” Asmodeus protests, as if he’s never been insulted that severely in his entire life. “You do realize that **I** sang that, don’t you?! **Me**! How could I end up with an 88…?”

“Well, that’s because you started the verse after the interlude late.” Beelzebub explains to him, but Asmodeus isn’t around anymore to hear him.

“Hey, where is Asmo...?” Everyone looks around, but Asmodeus isn’t in the room anymore. He’s nowhere to be seen!

 _“Asmodeus is gone.”_ Crowe tells us as if that’s totally normal.

“What do you mean he’s **gone** ?” Lucifer demands to know, glaring around, as he can’t tell where Crowe is. “Explain yourself, Crowe. **Now**.”

 _“Any participant who fails to achieve a score of 100 is sent to the punishment room.”_ Well, it definitely did not tell us this rule beforehand!

“The punishment room?” Belphegor wakes up from his snooze with Pandora. “I don’t know what that is, but it sounds like he’s just sent somewhere else, right? He’s not gone, as in forever gone… Is he?” He asks, but can’t entirely keep the worry out of his voice.

“Even so, there’s no telling what’s being done to him.” Lucifer, being a demon who likes to give out punishments, is obviously envisioning all kinds of worst case scenarios. “Ugh, this is bad…”

“Hey, stop talking about all the creepy, horrible stuff that could be happening to Asmo!” Leviathan yells at him angrily. “Like, I’m excited that this is turning into an actual game of life or death too, okay?! But I’m trying to keep a lid on it!”

“You’re the one whose being creepy here, Levi.” Lucifer glares at him and then turns to Belphegor. “She must be sensing that something happened. Try to soothe her, if you can.” He gestures to Pandora, who started to get fussy when everyone in the room started to get worried about Asmodeus' disappearance. Belphegor nods, he was already trying, but since he’s worried himself, he’s having a bit more trouble than he normally has.

“Wow! Now THIS is exciting!” Lord Diavolo cheers. “You have to admit, it really adds a sense of thrill to the game, right? As a stockholder, I need to see exactly what all this entails!”

“I can already tell you that it is illegal in the Human World to make these kinds of dangerous places!” I snap at him, sounding a lot like Leila probably, but what the hell is he even thinking?! That the Human World is his big new playground and humans are his endless supply of toys and entertainment?! 

Everyone else is also glaring at him. “ **Please don’t…** ” Lucifer tells him in a warning when he sees Lord Diavolo wants to answer me. Probably something stupid like he’s the Prince of the Devildom and he’s no subject to Human World laws. He should definitely not start that… Ugh!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: For Your Entertainment  
> Artist: Adam Lambert
> 
> next update: Wednesday


	4. Eliminated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elimination is going fast!!

“Alright! Mammon, Avatar of Greed is up next!” Mammon grabs the microphone that Asmodeus left behind. “I’m gonna be sittin’ at 100 points before ya know what hit ya! And then it’s ‘so long, cursed karaoke room’! You’d better be grateful that you’ve got the Great Mammon here!”

“...Um, has Mammon not noticed that Asmo disappeared?” Leviathan wonders quietly while Mammon is boasting. “And that we’re playing a karaoke game where failure could literally mean death?” 

“I mean, It’s probably not that bad… This is still the Human World and we don’t have deadly karaoke bars… At least that’s what I always thought…” I try to comfort Leviathan, or maybe mostly myself. “Maybe he’s trying to keep up good spirits?” I suggest, ignoring Lord Diavolo further.

“Well, he was focussed on picking out a song like his life depended on it, so… yep.” Satan sighs, settling next to Belphegor, who just got Pandora happy again. Patting him on his shoulder in a gesture of ‘good job’. “I don’t think he heard anything we said…”

“He may not be as good as Asmo, but Mammon’s still a pretty good singer.” Belphegor seems to have set his hopes on Mammon now. “He sang lead vocals in bands at RAD, sometimes. Right?”

“Yeah.” Beelzebub is full of faith. “I’m thinking Mammon should be able to win this for us, huh?”

“Alright, I hope ya realize how lucky ya are!” Mammon announces himself to his audience, which is us, while he’s typing in the song he wants to sing. “‘Cause I’m about to perform my very own love ballad… _‘Even if I Wind up as a Demon, I’ll Always Love You’_!”

“Uh oh, that’s not good.” Satan looks worried.

“Nope.” Lucifer looks even angry. But that’s possibly still from my outburst towards Lord Diavolo. Or maybe from his own annoyance with his friend and future King. “He picked the wrong song.”

“The wrong song?” Lord Diavolo doesn’t know Mammon as well as his brothers do. “What do you mean?”

“You’ll understand soon enough.” Lucifer just tells him.

When the music starts, I cheer for Mammon. If his brothers won’t believe in him, then I will do it extra in their place! But instead of feeling fired up by my cheering, he freezes up!

“Oh man, I forgot…” He starts blushing, feeling embarrassed. “I’m in the Human World and YOU’RE here… St-Stop it, James! Don’t look at me and don’t cheer…”

“Hey!” Belphegor calls out, worried. “The song is starting, Mammon.”

“I can’t… sing these kinda songs when James or Leila are listenin’… I CAN’T! I CAN’T DO IT!” Mammon sputters. “I wanna pick out a different song.”

“You picked this one already, Mammon.” Beelzebub tells him. “And it already started, you have to sing this.”

It’s probably because Mammon is worried that his brothers start teasing him, saying he’s in love after all with me or Leila if he sings a song like this with us in the room. Even if we know this is not the case, he can’t help himself being an idiot like that sometimes.

“You’ll be fine Mammon.” I try to encourage him. “It’s only me, no Leila. You can do it!” I’m not sure if it helped but he at least takes a breath. But it’s already too late.

“Ah, too late. It started without you.” Beelzebub looks worried at Mammon.

_“I was unable to detect any vocals. Therefore, you have been assigned a score of...0.”_

“Wait, hold on!” Mammon tries to salvage his mistake. “Lemme pick out another s-” And with that he just vanishes from the room.

“He’s gone…” Leviathan looks on like he can’t believe how easy that went. “Mammon’s been sent to the punishment room!”

“Eh, he’ll be fine.” Satan shrugs, determined to not let the atmosphere in the room scare Pandora again. She’s already making fussy noises, sensing another one of her uncles has disappeared. “He’s used to that kind of thing.” He tells his daughter caressing her little head soothingly and Belphegor snickers wickedly in agreement.

“Hmm… This isn’t good at all!” Lord Diavolo tells us, but then he’s laughing.

Lucifer noticed that as well. “Really? Because that’s not at all what the look on your face says, Diavolo…” 

The rest of us are quiet, while Lord Diavolo is laughing. Why isn’t he more worried about what’s happening? Does he know what this punishment room actually is? Is that it? Or does he just not care about his Avatars? Is he punishing us still for not giving him what he wants or forgetting about him? It’s just so strange, the way he acts.

“Diavolo…” Lucifer tries to let him see the seriousness of the situation. “Asmo and Mammon have disappeared… Out of all of us, they were the two we could count on the most to sing well enough to win.”

“I know they’ve supposedly been sent to this punishment room, but I can’t help wondering about where they are exactly and what’s being done to them.” Satan sighs, despite his earlier statement that he wasn’t worried for them, he clearly is.

“Considering it’s called the ‘punishment’ room, I can only imagine Asmo enjoying himself.” Leviathan answers him in an attempt to cheer everyone up and Satan nods in agreement. “And Mammon, I’m guessing he’s being tortured mercilessly.”

“Rather than focussing on Asmo and Mammon, right now we need to focus about those of us who are still here…” Lucifer tries to calm everyone, though I know he’s worried about them too. “So, who’s going to sing next?”

“Ooh, me… me!” Lord Diavolo cheers. “I’ll sing!”

“No, you’re not.” Lucifer glares at him.

“Aww, why not, Lucifer?” Lord Diavolo looks sad and pleading. “I thought you were the one demon I could always count on to respect my wishes?” It sounds like a challenge to me and Lucifer narrows his eyes at him.

“That depends on the time and place.” Lucifer growls at him, crossing his arms to adopt an unmovable posture. “And, we’ve been over this countless times before: on who.” I notice that Lord Diavolo doesn’t like to hear that last bit. I’m pretty sure Lucifer talks about me and Leila and possibly all Lilith’s descendants.

“It's also because you’re the heir to the Devildom throne.” I help Lucifer and he nods at me.

“Exactly. Diavolo, you need to remember who you are and what you mean to the Devildom.” Lucifer gives me a smile and turns to his friend. “You’re the next Demon King. What would we do if you get sent to this punishment room and end up getting hurt or worse?”

“All right.” Lord Diavolo nods. “I won’t insist on going next. But in exchange, I have a request!”

“What is it?” Lucifer sighs.

“I would like it if Leila joined us and sang.” Lord Diavolo smiles innocently enough, but I see something else in his eyes. It makes Belphegor and Satan bristle. Lucifer frowns at his Lord. I’m pretty annoyed as well, that he seems to suggest we should summon her here for his entertainment. “We all know she enjoys singing, right?”

“She’s not here.” He tells him curtly. “And we’re not bringing her into a possibly dangerous situation, while we still might be able to beat this challenge. It’s already bad enough that we brought Pandora.”

“Exactly.” Belphegor sounds angry and seems to have trouble keeping his voice under control while he’s holding Pandora, trying not to scare her like Satan does sometimes. “If I had known this, I would have stayed home with her.”

“Crowe, can we order food to be delivered to this room here?” Beelzebub is barely listening to what is going on, focussed on his rumbling stomach instead.

_“You’d like to order food? Okay, just tell me what you’d like.”_

“I’d like some mega tornado fries, onion rings, and spicy fried chicken. A twenty-person helping of each.” Beelzebub beams, rubbing his stomach at the thought of it alone. “Also, I’ll take one of every type of pizza on the menu, and…”

“All right,” Lord Diavolo says again, ignoring Beelzebub and sighing heavily as if it is a great inconvenience for him that he’s missing out on Leila’s voice, which only earns him more glares from my demons. “In that case… Belphegor and Beelzebub, you once sang at a RAD school festival, didn’t you?” He challenges Belphegor with his eyes, who narrows his own at him.

“Yeah, we did.” He nods, looking warily at Lord Diavolo.

While Beelzebub is still placing his food order, Lord Diavolo continues his conversation with Belphegor. “The harmony of your voices was just wonderful! It was truly moving. I’d really like to hear it again. Do you think you could sing together?”

“That’s a good idea.” Lucifer smiles encouragingly to his two youngest brothers. “If you two sing in perfect coordination like you did then, you should be able to pass this challenge.”

“Do you really think that’ll work?” Leviathan looks a bit worried.

Well, we need to do something, or we’ll be stuck here.” Lucifer tells him. “We have to take the chance. Because we can’t let Diavolo sing and we’re not bringing in Leila. And that’s final.” He glares at Lord Diavolo while he says that last bit. Lord Diavolo just shrugs, as if he doesn’t care about that anymore.

“...Well, I don’t mind.” Belphegor puts Pandora in Satan’s arms with a bottle of her food and walks to the karaoke machine. “I mean, I’d like to get out of here as soon as possible, so I can take a nice long nap with my daughter in my own bed.” He grumbles annoyed. “I can’t get her to sleep in a place like this…”

“Yeah, this is bad for her…” Satan also sounds worried. Pandora has been awake way too long already. She’s acting fussy, because of the tensions in the room and doesn’t feel like eating, even if it is time for it. She skipped her afternoon nap, because even Belphegor wasn’t able to put her to sleep. I think Leila is going to be pretty pissed at Lucifer for forcing Satan and Belphie to come to this. Even if he couldn’t have known.

“...Oh and I’d like the bucket size parfait, too… with extra ice cream. And the French chocolate cake. Not a slice. The whole cake.” Beelzebub is finishing his food order in the meantime.

“Ugh…” Belphegor rolls his eyes and pulls his brother to the machine. “Help me pick out a song, Beel…”

A little later, they have made a decision on what to sing and the song starts. I’m really swooning over how amazing they sound together and I’m recording it for Leila. I bet she would love to hear Belphegor sing with Beelzebub. Their voices are very similar when they sing and harmonize almost automatically and sound so beautiful together, that you’d think it’s just one voice on some of the bits of the song.

_Do we make sense, I think we do_   
_In spite of everything that we've been through_   
_Oh and you say black and I say white_   
_It's not about who's wrong_   
_As long as it feels right_   
_Don't think those stars won't align_

“You can really tell those two are twins.” Lucifer has wrapped his arm around me as he’s enjoying their singing proudly. “From the moment they started the song, they’ve been in perfect sync.”

“Yeah, they sound amazing.” I sigh happily, while I keep recording. It’s fine if there’s a bit of talking in the background. Leviathan can fix that for me, I’m sure..

“Exactly! This is what I was talking about! This is what I wanted to hear!” Lord Diavolo is swaying with the music, sounding genuinely in awe.

_Under your scars I pray_   
_You're like a shooting star in the rain_   
_You're everything that feels like home to me, yeah_   
_Under your scars, I could live inside you time after time_   
_If you'd only let me live inside of mine_   
_Live inside of mine_

“Listen to how well they harmonize.” Lord Diavolo compliments them even more. “Truly wonderful. This will net them 100 points for sure!”

Pandora is making a lot of happy sounds from Satan's lap. Almost sounding like she’s cheering Belphegor on, because it looks like she really enjoys her father's singing. Of course he sings lullabies for her often, but this right now definitely is not putting her to sleep. Satan is laughing, seeing his baby-daughter becoming a groupie. Heh.

_Wish you were here_   
_Right beside me_   
_So I could watch you sleep_   
_Hold your body closer, breathe you deep_   
_And everything feels broken_   
_When you're not next to me_   
_Would you still be you_   
_If we weren't we_

_*sigh*_ “Finally we're going to be able to get out of here…” Leviathan has now his hopes set on the twins. “When we get home, I’m shutting myself in my room and I’m NOT coming out, understand?! Oh, but you are welcome to come over and game, James.”

_Under your scars I pray_   
_You're like a shooting star in the rain_   
_You're everything that feels like home to me, yeah_   
_Under your scars, I could live inside you time after time_   
_If you'd only let me live inside of mine_

“I also want to get home soon… So I can watch more cat videos.” Satan cuddles Pandora. I can tell he’s close to losing his patience with this whole thing. The thing that keeps him calm is thinking about cats, Leila and Pandora. We all know it. “I need to do my driver’s course… Play with Shado… Be with Leila… This place is a waste of my time.” Pandora makes a sound as if she agrees with him and he smiles, giving her a kiss on her head.

_So hey, if you feel like coming down_   
_If you feel like coming around_   
_Just call my name out loud, na, na, na_   
_Hey, if you feel like coming down_   
_If you feel like coming around_   
_Just call my name out loud, na, na, na, yeah_

But then, during the musical interlude… _“Pardon the interruption! The food you ordered will arrive momentarily. It will materialize on your table in the next few seconds, so be sure that any valuables are safely out of the way.”_ Crowe announces suddenly.

Wait, what?! Oh no! Oh, crap...

“No…! Beel, don’t!” Lucifer shouts. 

I know it should have been me, giving that command because… Suddenly the table is laden with Beelzebubs food and without thinking, he dives in on it. _*munch* *munch* *munch*_ Dammit. I should really learn to be more firm with him…

“Belphie, keep going!” Lucifer encourages, but almost sounding desperate. “It’s only a little bit. You’ve got to sing the rest on your own!”

Belphegor tries to explain. “I can’t! It only works, if we sing together…” He still tries to continue, but he was right. Something is missing when he is not singing together with someone. Suddenly both Beelzebub and Belphegor have disappeared and Pandora starts crying now.

“The twins… they disappeared…” Satan tries his best to comfort her, telling her that everything will turn out okay, but she isn’t going to be convinced so easily. People keep disappearing around her and now even one of her fathers, and she doesn’t understand what is happening. Poor baby...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Under Your Scars  
> Artist: Godsmack
> 
> Next update: Sunday


End file.
